Beyond The Illusion of Happiness

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"Most people believe that they would be happier if they were richer, but survey evidence on the subjective of well-being is largely inconsistent with that belief." – Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast And Slow. 

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"Research shows that we tend to get focused on the “one thing” that will bring us happiness—usually it is a possession, a relationship, or some experience like a trip to Hawaii or a raise. This is not to say these are not good things, but the happiness quotient simply doesn’t last, so we move our attention, our focus, onto the next object of our happiness. This is an illusion, a fabrication—nothing outside our self will bring lasting happiness—even writing a book or landing the perfect job or publisher. 

The illusion that “when I get this I will be happy," is called the focusing illusion. Our happiness is focused on putting our happiness on outward objects and circumstances that typically has us looking into the future. This illusion puts the focus of our happiness on something or someone outside of ourself. We get what we thought we wanted and find it doesn’t bring us the lasting happiness or inspiration we expected, so we get discouraged. Or we go purchase another something that has gotten our attention or put our search engines onto another source in hopes that this will make us happy.

​Beyond the illusion of happiness, true happiness flourishes.

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Freeing Ourselves From Specific Search Images
Awhile back I talked with a wildlife biologist about how people put so much energy, time, and money into searching for happiness. I told him how we get our minds set on something and our desire for it increases. He promptly said, “Tinbergen’s research on prey selection.” Nikolas Tinbergen found in his research that tits (Paridae) tended to favor one kind of larval Lepidoptera at any given time—a fancy term for their favored food. He saw that the birds were actively searching for these particular species while ignoring other potential food sources. He labeled this phenomenon “specific search image.” This reveals a connection between Tinbergen’s study and how we too tend to go in search of a given source of happiness, missing other potential sources. Humans tend to be very search specific; habitual in what we are looking for and the places that we look for it. We tend to become habitual in what we want, search for, and, as a result, find. This reflects a popular warning, be careful what of what you wish for.

A more accurate caution is: pay attention to what you are searching for. 

What are you searching for? What do you believe (or assume) will bring you happiness?  Contemplate that. 

We tend to not see beyond what we are searching for.  Write about a time you were surprised by what arrived unexpectedly in your life.  What were the causes and conditions that allowed for this arrival? Write about that. 
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More Writer's prompts and Contemplations for the curious
Ask yourself:

• Are you like the bird in the study, always going for the same source of nourishment (happiness, fulfillment) when something else might better feed you?
• What are other possibilities of where you can put your focus that you may be overlooking? Where are you the most habitual (this is where you are most likely in search mode)?
• Where are you putting your energy in seeking fulfillment from another rather than actively living a fulfilling life? (Consider the difference between the volunteer who went to Ecuador to help build bridges and the person that went to a shaman in Ecuador for insight into their purpose here on Earth.)
• How do you see yourself being spiritually or creatively fulfilled? (Hint: If fulfillment comes only or mostly from some outward end result—beware, the focusing illusion is at play. If, on the other hand, fulfillment comes from the act of creating, then happiness is assured.)

Fortunately, unlike Tinbergen’s birds, we have the innate ability to train our minds and to put our attention where we choose. (Choice is an underutilized superpower). We can become more receptive to the mystery of each moment and get a full spectrum of possibilities offered up to us in a given moment.  Give up the search and take a look around you. 

The monkey is reaching
For the moon in the water .
Until death overtakes him
If he’ d let go the branch and
Disappear in the deep pool ,
The whole world would shine
With dazzling pureness .    – Hakuin Ekaku, "The Monkey is Reaching 

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