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  • Explore with Me
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      • ​Come As You Are, Meditation & Writing Retreat
      • A Year of Transformation, Initiation & Manifestation: World into Word & Action
    • Online Courses >
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Julie's Blog
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 World into Word & Action

Breathing Under Water

9/18/2019

1 Comment

 
BREATHING UNDER WATER - BY CAROL BIELECK

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I built my house by the sea.
Not on the sands, mind you;
not on the shifting sand.
And I built it of rock.
A strong house
by a strong sea.
And we got well acquainted, the sea and I.
Good neighbours.
Not that we spoke much.
We met in silences.
Respectful, keeping our distance, 
but looking our thoughts across the fence of sand.
Always the fence of sand our barrier,
always, the sand between.

And then one day,
- and still I don't know how it happened -
the sea came.
Without warning.
​
Without welcome, even.

Not sudden and swift, but a shifting across the sand
like wine,
less like the flow of water than the flow of blood.
Slow, but coming. 
Slow, but flowing like an open wound.
And I thought of flight and I thought of drowning
and I thought of death.
And  while I thought the sea crept higher, till it
reached my door.
And I knew then, there was nether flight, nor death,
nor drowning.
That when the sea comes calling you stop being
neighbors 
Well acquainted, friendly-at-a-distance, neighbors
and you give your house for a coral castle,
and you learn to breathe underwater. 

I believe that our writing intentions and our explorations (curiosities) in life are about a desire for wholeness, for completion.  Life is not a worthiness competition. Life ultimately ends the same for all of us. (Spoiler alert: we all die). On the first day of my Social Work class through the UW, I write this on the board: "You have nothing to prove and everything to learn (and share)." Just so. In our writing and life -- nothing to prove. Everything to learn and share. Everything to explore. 

Our curiosity acts as our gills. Our curiosity gives us the ability to breathe under water and to be present with what is. Our curiosity, without pressure to figure things out a certain way, takes us to where we want to be.  As we write and explore we will discover what we need for this moment. 

Sometimes we are hit by that ocean, whether it be a loss of a dear friend, an addiction, a betrayal, an aloneness, or some other trauma or disappointment. And when we stay with it, be with the experience, write about it, we learn how to breathe underwater. And so will your readers.
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1 Comment
Christopher Uzzi link
11/6/2019 04:36:51 pm

From a Vietnam Veteran reading your email about Breathing Under Water has changed my answer for questions when people ask me how does it feel to have PTSD. I have heard many a description over the years that tries to sum up what it feels like to have an addiction or for me my PTSD which is 100% VA verified. When asked in the future as a veteran or for anyone with traumatic experiences how does it feel to have PTSD? My answer will be. It’s like trying to breathing under water. Try to breath under water and you’ll know how it feels to have PTSD.

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    Author and counselor Julie Tallard Johnson
    I live in Mount Horeb WI where I walk (snow shoe in the winter) my dogs through Stewart Park or Military Trail, garden my corner lot, wear a mask in public (and a cape at night). I love to write & connect to writers and spiritual seekers. My book The Clue of the Red Thread is my latest of eleven, written in collaboration with Parker J Palmer and poet Rebecca Cecchini  The Clue of the Red Thread: Discovering Fearlessness & Compassion in uncertain times  came out in January, 2021 through Shanti Arts, Nine Rivers Imprint. 

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