The Very Big Challenge of Habit Energy

“A difficult and challenging time must be taken as an opportunity to express in the outer world our highest inner principles. “ – BRIAN BROWNE WALKER, THE I CHING OR BOOK OF CHANGE

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I recently had one of my dark days. This is when a negative mood or attitude gets triggered, and I fall into the rabbit hole.  How long I remain in the dark is entirely up to me.
 
I don't want my habits to live my life. I don't want my habit energy to interfere with my relationships with others. I don't want my habitual ways to be the lens through which I view my life or others. Usually, a life of excessive comfort is a life of habits. When we free ourselves from our habits and habit energy, we feel the discomfort of a fully engaged life. Habits are happy sitting on the cruise ship’s lounger. Freedom from our habits has us off the ship's deck, meeting up with new and strange places and people. Habit energy will have us respond similarly to circumstances, let our anger, grief or disappointment filter, and infiltrate everything like poison in a well. The water becomes undrinkable, life uninhabitable for authentic living.
 
(By the way, our beliefs can be habits, too! When we don’t engage our curiosity, challenge our misunderstandings, and make assumptions, our beliefs are habits.)

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There is a story in Zen circles about a man and a horse. The horse gallops quickly, and it appears that the man on the horse is going somewhere important. A woman standing alongside the road shouts, "Where are you going?" The man replies, "I don't know! Ask the horse!"

We can be like this. We don't know what we are doing or where we are going, and we need help to stop. When I feel an intense emotion, habit energy will surely be there, and I find it hard to push through it.  The horse is our habit energy dictating our feelings and actions. And we often either don't know we aren't free or in control or can't seem to free ourselves from the clutches of our habit energy. 

The best way I have discovered to stop letting habits live my life, to get up and off the deck chair, or not to let negative habit energy ruin a good day is to switch the channel. First, I recognize that this is habit energy. Then, I change the channel by reading something helpful, consulting the I Ching, or listening to a spiritual teacher's wisdom.  This takes a willingness to let go of the negativity and the ability to focus on something else. I do whatever I can to stop and notice that the laziness or negativity is habit energy. Next, I consciously choose to focus on something uplifting.  I often walk, talk to the trees, and talk to my higher power, becoming more and more mindful of the moment's reality.

I have a couple of reliable practices in my back pocket to help me transform habit energy and reactivity. One is to become aware and mindful of the sensations in the body and thoughts in the mind without adding any narrative. This is a witnessing practice called Hosting The Edge that I write about in The Clue of The Red Thread. We host our edges and become free.
 
My second favorite practice is using the 3 R’s to touch reality rather than being reactive and caught up in some habitual response to difficult circumstances. More on this practice can also be found in The Clue of The Red Thread.

“A disturbed mind makes mistakes and doesn’t know or see reality.” – HIS HOLINESS THE FOURTEENTH DALAI LAMA

The Three R’s of Touching Reality

1.    Recognition. Recognizing the reality of the moment. What is this situation really about?
   
2.  Receptivity. Opening and being receptive to the reality of the present moment through the practice of principles. Not letting some habit or negative internal dynamic determine our actions and the experience.
3.  Receiving Reality. Receiving (touching) reality. We can touch reality because we have let go of the habit energy. 

All we have to do to gain the power to recognize reality is to ask ourselves and explore the question: What is this about? Not What is happening here? What do I want? What should I feel? What should be happening? or Why do I feel disappointed? Ask What is this about?
 
When was the last time you fell down a dark rabbit hole? How did you get out? Write about that.