Archive for July, 2009

Tornado Warnings, Shinyata and the Blue Heron

Thursday, July 30th, 2009

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“It feels real to me Julie.”

“I know. But it’s not. If it were real it would be true for everyone all the time,” I said.

“I do get a peek at what’s on the other side,” he reminded himself.

“What’s there?,” I asked.

“Love, . . . Is that real?”

“As real as you and I sitting here.”

                                    ­­–A conversation with a client, he was referring to the obstructions of fear and depression that surround him.

One of my intentions for attending the teachings this month at Deer Park was to expose myself to the wisdom of emptiness, shinyata so that I may get a glimpse of it. Looking at shinyata from many angles, and hearing the arguments and commentary about it could result in one becoming aware of it. Attending the teachings I hoped to come away with a few insights and skills so I would experience the world in a less exaggerated way, as understanding the wisdom of emptiness can do.

Being that Geshe Sopa’s class is more of an intellectual journey and not so experiential, I explored practices on my own that would introduce me to the wisdom of emptiness. I relied on the Dalai Lama’s book, How To See Yourself As You Really Are. This book is full of actual practices.

The Dalai Lama writes that the only way to gain a clear perspective is internally – by training the mind to see correctly. In a nutshell this is what the wisdom of emptiness is about – helping a confused mind, such as mine, that tends toward exaggerating the good and bad of what I see, to see reality. To be able to at least have a glimpse of reality so that when I find myself caught up in any of my habitual ways of being in the world (or seeing the world), I may apply this glimpse and experience some freedom. Such wisdom is understood as the treatment, the antidote for all the flavors of suffering, because all of our suffering arises from self-absorption. (Even in the Toltec practices, freedom from self-absorption is the key to lasting peace and happiness). Self-absorption tends to exaggerate our circumstances.

All month I am hearing arguments through deduction and analytical inquiry how, “nothing exists inherently” (independently); everything arises dependent on other factors. For me the wisdom of shinyata shows me the depth of our interconnectedness and how nothing stands alone. Everything arises dependently on conditions and causes; therefore nothing is independent, on its own. This makes such circumstances as depression or even loss less solid. Many spiritual traditions point to the reality of this interdependence. They exclaim that the separation we feel within ourselves and from each other is not reality but a delusion. In Buddhism we understand delusions as our ego throwing interference (obstructions) to our experiencing reality. It’s our beliefs, assumptions, projections, agreements and attachments that we see and experience (more often than not), not reality.

“Dependent-arising refers to the fact that all impermanent phenomena­–whether physical, mental, or otherwise–come into existence dependent upon certain causes and conditions. Whatever arises dependent upon certain causes and conditions is not operating exclusively under its own power.”  Dalai Lama, How to See Yourself As You Really Are

So how does a glimpse into emptiness help us? 

Since things are not as they often (or ever) appear, why get all caught up in exaggerated assumptions about events and people? Why be fooled always by appearances when nothing is as it seems to our untrained mind? Things tend to appear solid and dramatic. Like when we see someone, we tend to have all sorts of assumptions and beliefs about this person. Perhaps we have a history with them that is unpleasant. Instead of seeing reality (or their true nature), we see our projections, we see what we believe is there. We see the past. We are fooled by appearances. Learning to meditate on the wisdom of emptiness and practice the examination of emptiness helps us see more and more that nothing is as solid or dramatic as we typically perceive. Therefore to see more clearly means to understand that everything we see, experience and think depends on a variety of causes and conditions. Therefore when we encounter someone or are caught up in a difficult situation we can’t possibly know all the conditions and causes that lead up this situation.

To help with this, search for something you like and appreciate – your house or an object of art or something in nature. Notice how it seems to stand on its’ own. Then journal or contemplate all that made this object possible. What goes into making this object real? Can it exist without these other conditions or characteristics?

But what is real then? Both Geshe Sopa and the Dalai Lama show how the wisdom of emptiness does not mean to take on “false views” that would be nihilistic (nothing is real therefore nothing really matters), or exaggerated (taking everything personally) . . .   

Tornado Warnings

Just the other day there were tornado warnings and a path of two separate tornados were possibly making there way to our valley. We stood on our deck as the rumbling and stirring of the storms brewed around us. As I looked out I saw a Blue Heron land in the center of our pond, apparently undisturbed by the threats. She did not move but grazed for food, remaining in the center. We of course prepared for a tornado. This was the right thing for us to do. Tornados are dangerous and destructive, and real. But still the wisdom of emptiness points to even tornados and how they are absent of inherent existence, they could not exist on their own. This “not existing on their own,” is a simple understanding of emptiness. Shinyata doesn’t mean not real. On a conventional, relative level tornados are real, you and I and the Blue Heron are “real.” We are full of life. But there is no need to take the tornado (or someone insulting you for that matter) personally, because nothing is personal. We don’t have to add assumptions to the experience or make it bigger than it is by personalizing everything. We don’t need to get angry at the weather! This understanding of emptiness is also within the Toltec tradition. One of the Four Toltec Agreements is: “Don’t take things personally,” which is a way of pointing to shinyata. Another agreement is to “Not make assumptions.” How can we take something personally or make assumptions when the causes and conditions are so complex and unknown to us? When nothing is as it appears? How can we take it so personally when it is not ever just about us? Geshe Sopa once mentioned how shinyata can be symbolized as a reed – green and alive and real on the outside, but empty on the inside (empty of inherent existence). I like this image because we may appear different from one another and from other living things, but not internally, we are connected through the wisdom of shinyata. We are all filled with space and Buddha nature. It’s almost as if space itself is our universal connected tissue.

It seems I could write on and on about my glimpses in to emptiness. Incongruously, the topic of emptiness takes up thousands of sutras, and texts! So it is best I stop here and suggest you read the book by His Holiness the Dalai Lama if getting a glimpse into emptiness interests you too.

As it turns out the tornados passed to the north and south of the valley, leaving us with a beautiful lightening show and a double rainbow. The Blue Heron never moved from her spot in the center of the pond. I have a sense that she was demonstrating to me another glimpse of shinyata.

 Dalai Lama

Faith, not belief is the way to approach the mystery of being. Belief is the effort to eliminate the mystery by interpreting experience to accord with what is already conditioned in us.” Ken McLeod, Wake Up To Your Life: Discovering the Buddhist Path of Attention.

 

I am roused from my sleep

And nothing is familiar,

I open my eyes, and look out,

What I see with these eyes

Cracks me open from within

For all that I thought to be true

Was but a mirage.    Julie, 2009

 

 

 

 

The Four Agreements of the Toltec by don migel ruiz:

 

Be impeccable with your word

Don’t make assumptions

Don’t take anything personally

Do Your Best

The Blessing of The Guru

Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009

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“Just look along the road, and tell me if you can see either of them.”

“I see nobody on the road,” said Alice.

“I only wish I had such eyes,” said the King remarked in a fretful tone. “To be able to see Nobody! And at that distance too! Why, it’s as much as I can do to see real people, by this light!” ­Lewis Carol, Alice in Wonderland

Something happened to me on my way to enlightenment . . .

I had already written 3 ½ pages in response to my second week at Deer Park (too much probably for a Blog article but my mind was full.) I began with the following quote from His Holiness the Dalai Lama taken from his book How To See Yourself As You Really Are.

“Given that lust, hatred, pride, jealousy, and anger stem from exaggerating the importance of qualities such as beauty and ugliness, it is crucial to understand how persons and things actually exist, without exaggeration.”  His Holiness the Dalai Lama, taken from How To See Yourself As You Really Are.

I think to myself, “Right,” and go on to write how such exaggeration causes us to suffer. I also attempt to write an introduction on the wisdom of emptiness.

But life interrupts the best of plans.

I hit a hole in the road and took a detour.

The winds changed direction on me.

You get the idea, don’t you? Something occurred that shifted my perspective and experience. So, instead of attempting to finish my piece on examining emptiness I find myself writing about, well,  . . . How those knots in the yarn, the road blocks, the interruptions, all the difficulties are an opportunity to actually practice and live the Dharma. How difficulty is the blessing of the Buddha. If you have sat in any of my classes you know my willingness to demonstrate how we can transform a mess (because I have my share) into gold. My life is often used as the template of how we find ourselves at times like vulnerable children on our first day of kindergarten.

Certainly listening and attempting to absorb Venerable Geshe Lhundub Sopa’s teaching on emptiness brings up feelings of vulnerability, curiosity and bewilderment. At times while sitting and listening it is like I am on a playground among other students, most which are older. In an exaggerated view most of the kids on the playground understand the teachers and know where they belong. If you are a kindergartner (or just feeling like one at the time), you are less likely to be certain about the teachers or your place among the other kids. Alas, this is all grist for the Buddhist mill. It is here in this vulnerable spot where the Buddha shows up and a blessing may be bestowed.

Sometimes the break in our plan simply gets us to question our plan. “Is this correct?” “Am I correct in my view?” Sometimes the interruption gives us a nudge to look more honestly at our intentions. “What are my intentions for being here?” “What are my intentions with this choice?”  Or we can polish our mirror and grasp some understanding as to what is getting stirred up. “What is being triggered?” Or we can simply choose to practice our principles. “What dynamic can I practice Tonglen on?” (In this case it would be on myself, since the affliction is mine.)

If you have gotten this far with me you are probably wondering what it was I stumbled over (this time). Of course the projected cause of my suffering is not important. Let me use an analogy, since what is important here is what I do with the situation, not what I cognitively perceived others did or did not do. I will continue to borrow from the analogy of a school playground. — Perhaps I was showing off my jump rope skills and wiped out. Perhaps the other kids didn’t invite me into their game. Or, I was overlooked for an opportunity to be in someone’s favor. Doesn’t matter what the circumstances were – something triggered an exaggeration in my mind and there I was stewing in a “pain story.” (In the Wheel of Initiation a pain story is made up of the agreements, perceptions and beliefs we carry from the past and project onto the present situation. Not only are we caught up in an delusion of some kind, it is really the past we perceive.)  So there I am suffering due to an exaggerated perception of circumstances.

It takes a moment to realize I am caught in a delusion.

It takes longer to realize I am an adult among other adults (and actually not a child on the playground).

It takes yet longer to realize I could be practicing nonattachment.

And finally, I realize that underneath all my intentions of generosity and beneath my meditations on emptiness stands a child wanting to be part of something. Within the adult is a child-mind that does exaggerate the importance of events. Here arrives the potential blessing of the Guru.

It took awhile after the emotions arose for me to acknowledge the blessing of the Guru. The Guru blessed me through this discomfort and difficulty because the difficulty points to where I am stuck. The blessing comes with the opportunity to actually practice nonattachment when attachment arises. Being the Bumbling Bodhisattva in training I initially just noticed how attached I am and how I still carry pain stories in my heart/mind. The Guru then used this opportunity to show me where and how I am attached. I saw more clearly how my exaggerations cause me (and others) to suffer.  Therefore, blessing received. And I began to practice nonattachment and generosity as best I could. Fortunately, I have available wonderful teachers and fellow-students to offer me places to practice. Undoubtedly the Guru will have more chances to bless me with opportunities to practice.

So, I end by acknowledging my gratitude for the bumps in the road – for all the disruptions in my plans. As I stand here in the middle of the playground surrounded by beautiful children and teachers I see clearly my present obstruction to enlightenment, an obstruction that fortunately also points the way to freedom.

 

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            “All things, then, depend on something else;

            On this depends the fact that none are independent.

Knowing this we will not be annoyed at objects

that resemble magical appearances.”

Shantideva, verse 6.31, Bodhicaryavatara

 

“Spirit speaks to us continually, in dreams, through the melodic sounds of a stream, through deaths and illnesses, and all the dressing and undressing of the seasons. Still, we are often oblivious of its hum, wrapped as we are in a shroud of self-occupation­–worries, fears, angers, jealousies, and other catastrophes. Yet, like a youthful injury that haunts our old age or a fierce storm that changes the landscape in an instant, spirit illuminates the world in surprising ways. We all have those turning pointes in our lives­–either fully recognized in the moment or traced through hindsight–that spin us in a new direction.”  John Kain, taken from A Rare And Precious Thing.

 

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Dharma and the Turtle

Monday, July 13th, 2009

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I hear jam jars “popping” their successful sealing while I sit and consider what to write about on my first week of teachings at Deer Park. I just finished my second batch of black raspberry jam from this year’s abundant crop. Also made banana-black raspberry bread and blueberry-raspberry pie. And there are still many berries waiting to be picked. 

A loud “pop” again is heard and I am brought back to this moment – what to share about my first week at Deer Park? On a personal level I feel much gratitude being able to take these teachings and from such a master as Gesha Lhundub Sopa. The first day, I confess to thinking, “What have I gotten myself into?” The topic, which in simple terms is on the wisdom of emptiness (shinyata), is advanced and complex. Fortunately, Geshe Sopa offers us an introductory teaching each morning session, which I soak in and record. These have also helped prepare my mind for the more complicated teachings that follow.

I am not certain how much of the teachings on “emptiness” I will grasp but the introduction to each day is worth it alone. On the first day he began with a story about a turtle that after one hundred years comes up from the depths of the ocean and surfaces to the light. Most of the time, like the turtle, we are at the bottom of Samsara (cyclical existence) and in the dark, as it where. But on rare occasions in our human life we come up like the one hundred year old turtle and receive some Light. Even then when we reach the top many do not take the opportunity and waste the chance.

Geshe Sopa further reminds us that life is short, like the bubbles on the ocean. Our life is impermanent and everything in our life is also ephemeral and impermanent. Rare is the opportunity to wake up. Rare is the opportunity to learn and practice the dharma.

He suggests that when we rise in the morning we say to our self, “I have an opportunity to wake up today.” Why waste this time? Each day we are given another chance to receive the light, to take the teachings, practice the dharma, and pay attention. Each day we can meditate and cultivate such qualities as wisdom, presence and compassion.

So I know I am like that turtle coming up for light and air, and that this day (and these teachings) are an opportunity not to be wasted. He suggests that saying to our self each day, “I have an opportunity to wake up today,” helps prepare us for such teachings.

More so, we would benefit going forth into each of our days, “prepared.” Prepared to receive the lessons this day will offer up to us as a way to wake up. But in particular to take the opportunity to read, study and practice the dharma. After all, this opportunity (perhaps due to aging or hindrances such as poverty or illness) will too pass. Each morning prepare your self for the opportunities that are there to study and practice the dharma.

As I finish this entry, the last jar of jam “pops.” I imagine much like the abundance of berries this year – much in these teachings waits for me to pick and transform into something I can use to wake up. However, they too, like the teachings will only be ripe for a short while. The opportunity now arisen will pass. So, off I go to pick more berries, and in my picking I will consider what a rare opportunity I have here.

“Much of our planning is like waiting to swim

         in a dry ravine.

Many of our activities are like housekeeping

         in a dream.

Delirious with fever, one does not recognize the fever.”   Paltrul Rinpoche’s Sacred World

 Next week I will attempt to share my rough glimpses into the teachings on emptiness.  For more information on Deer Park and other teachings and classes go to there website: http://www.deerparkcenter.org/

“You have to recognize, at least in a rough way, what you are falsely superimposing on phenomena before you can understand the emptiness in its stead.”   – His Holiness the Dalai Lama, How to See Yourself As You Really Are

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Healing Medicine for the Hidden Wound: Guru Meditation

Monday, July 6th, 2009

This is the final session of the Spring/Summer Meditation Class. Thank you for joining me. This last class is on Guru Meditation.

We can get to the root cause of a wound or habit through the practice of Guru meditation.

We all have repetitive issues that are diffcult or seemingly impossible to get to the root of and dislodge once and for all from our lives. All our habitual patterns come from our past, our “pain stories.” See more on freedom from our pain stories in my upcoming book: The Wheel of Initiation: Practices for Releasing the Inner Light. 

We all know that we can’t return to the past and heal the original wound (or most of us would). And often, much of our most hidden hurts are buried in our unconscious due to the fact that they began when we were not yet speaking. So this time of nonverbal existence gave us experiences (and in this case wounds) that don’t have “words” that go with them. Our first year of life is vital to our underlying sense of self and our ability to bond with others. Much is actually dependent upon this first year of life. So, this can be discouraging if our first year lacked nurturing and bonding or was in fact traumatic.

Fortunately, although challenging, we can heal from these “preverbal” wounds and issues (as well as other habits and issues that cause us suffering) through the practice of Guru meditation. Guru meditation can be used to get to the root of the wound and to the places we can’t seem to reach. This is an intention of Guru meditation – getting help and relying on those who have succeeded on the path of awakening. We can take refuge in them through this practice. Emaho!

So we ask our root guru or deity, or the “Light” to go to these hidden places where the root of pain takes hold, the places we are easily provoked and where we tend to lose consciousness. The presence, the wisdom and the compassion of the deity will know were to go. All you have to do is the practice. You have to show up in a place (meditation cushion) so the deity can be called forth and find you.

My chiropractor has an instrument that sends light to the painful spot. It’s called a “Cold Lazer.” The light then goes to the root of the hidden pain, and assists the body to do the natural healing work. It triggers my natural capacity to heal. This is true of the Guru’s light (presence) as well. The Guru’s energy will go to the spot of pain with it’s light, wisdom and compassion which triggers your same three inherent qualities. Know and trust that this is happening when you practice Guru meditation.

“What most of us need, almost more than anything, is the courage and humility really to ask for help, from the depths of our hearts: to ask for the compassion of the enlightened beings, to ask for purification and healing, to ask for the power to understand the meaning of our suffering and transform it; at a relative level to ask for the growth in our lives of clarity, of peace, of discernment, and to ask for the realization of the absolute nature of mind that comes form merging with the deathless wisdom mind of the master.” Sogyal Rinpoche, Tibetan Book of the Living and the Dieing. Page 143. HarperSanFrancisco. 1992.

 

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Guru Meditation Practice adapted from Sogyal Rinpoche

A great resource on guru meditation is Sogyal Rinpoche’s book, “Tibetan Book of Living & Dying,” and is the one I practice. I borrow from his book here. Any quotes are taken from this book. A simple practice of guru yoga includes invocation, merging with the guru/deity through the use of a mantra or chant, receiving the empowerment (blessing of the deity or animal) and then becoming one with the master or being.

Invocation  “From the depths of your heart, invoke in the sky in front of you the embodiment of the truth in the person of your master, a saint or an enlightened being,” or your animal guardian. Call to this being from your heart and ask for its help. Know that which you call is there in front of you. Pray for this being to fill you up with love and compassion and any other of the qualities that you know this being holds for you. This of course connects you with all these inherent qualities within yourself.

Merging   Here you recite the mantra that carries the energy of your given master or being. Or you can use a universal sound of “om ah,” or some other chant that you can sing to the deity. Experience this chant or mantra as the sound of this given being. The sound becomes the deity and at the same time calls the deity to you. I chant the mantra, Om Ah Hung Benza Guru Pema Siddhi Hung, which I was initiated from Sogyal Rinpoche at a retreat. This is the mantra of Padmasambhava. You can find this in his book as well.

Empowerment  “Imagine now that from the master thousands of brilliant rays of light stream out toward you, and penetrate you, purifying, healing, blessing, empowering, and sowing in you the seeds of enlightenment.” Or imagine the qualities of your particular power animal being sent to you on rays of light, filling you up with its qualities. Let the being empower you with all its qualities so that these awaken in you. At the very least your mind is being filled with the ideal of this being and his or her qualities, a great meditation practice for calming the mind.

Becoming One Then let the being completely merge and mingle with you where there is no separation between your master or ally and yourself. Feel free to sit in this energy for a while. See and feel that you are the guru or deity. There is no separation between you and the divine. You are it. Let go and let the Deity do it through you – let go and let the light go to the wound.  Touch your own inherent sacred, enlightened self. Here you affirm, “I am that.” Through Guru meditation you sanction the mantra, “I am that.”

 

about-sogyalrinpoche-viewcover.jpgFor more on or from Sogyal Rinpoche go to his website: http://rigpa.org/  

 

_q0i9875.jpgBest to you in your meditation practice.  Julie