I’m not concerned about false memory syndrome, because the memory contains a meaningful story, and to me as a therapist, it’s the story that matters. I work with the stories people carry within them because it’s these stories that direct behaviors and choices. Even if you try to leave the past behind, it presents itself in how you live today. As Neil Gaiman says in The Ocean at the End of the Lane, “Memories were waiting at the edges of things, beckoning to me.” We are who we are as a result of the stories we believe about ourselves. Charles Baxter puts … Continue reading
There are no secrets or formulas or one size that fits all when it comes to success. It’s all known, although for some not yet discovered. Here are 8 knowns (researched and evidence based) to living the creative life, successfully. Step Outside Your Comfort Zone. We are habitual, comfort seeking creatures. Unawares, we may lose a myriad of opportunities in our reach because we keep taking the same route home. For too many, remaining in a toxic environment feels easier than to break free because such risk-taking creates anxiety and discomfort. Ask yourself: Are your habits living your life? Is … Continue reading
I advocate for tolerance but have found too many women and men whose tolerance of abuse leaves them beaten down. I am tolerant, but I have my limits of what I will tolerate. Some argue that karma will take care of it. Wrong! This is using such concepts as karmic justice to help keep you passive and uninvolved. Life is for the living, so participate. “Participation – that’s what’s gonna save the human race.”― Pete Seeger With the staggering number of people on the planet and with less and less privacy, we are often fooled into assuming someone else is … Continue reading
Mutual influence is the fundamental foundation, the hallmark, of a healthy, dynamic relationship and each conversation within our relationships. Marriages, friendships, work relationships are all dependent upon this quality. In its highest expression, mutual influence depends on both participants being ethical, truthful, and open. A willingness to be influenced is dependent upon a vulnerability and curiosity toward the other, a genuine motivation to understand the other and then be influenced by what the other has to say—give and take, a back and forth. Read more at: Is Your Boss A High Function Sociopath? Here, take this gift, I was reserving it for … Continue reading
“There is no distinction between the one who gives, the one who receives, and the gift itself.” Thích Nhất Hạnh Research shows that expressing gratitude and praising others also benefits the giver. The one who bestows fan mail, handwritten thank-yous, stand-up applause, and verbal praise benefits as much as, if not more than, the one receiving the acknowledgment. Research also reveals that people who praise others are usually emotionally intelligent, confident, and observant, and like making others feel good about themselves. Sounds like a superhero to me. My daughter recently bought her prom dress and is excited about the … Continue reading
Whatever we give our attention to in our daily lives is what we cultivate, and as a result, becomes manifest. Whatever we nurture through attention grows; unless what we nurture isn’t “real.” This would be like watering a plastic plant. This plant can appear to take in all the light and water you give it but it will never grow. For me, too much attention to “searching”on the internet, television, to consumption, or other activities that really don’t result in anything, draw energy from that which will bring genuine happiness and fulfillment. Too much clutter is a huge distraction too … Continue reading
Recently I came up with this Great Idea for a theme in a book. Then went to read Steven Pressfield’s popular Writing Wednesdays blog to find he beat me to it. What is a writer to do? Find out here: blogcritics.org.
Read blog here: at the Elephant Journal.
Forgiveness works when . . . You realize keeping someone in a negative story line does not in any way protect you. Trying to protect yourself with judgment or blame would be like expecting a candle to offer light in a windy tunnel. You open your heart and mind to what is happening in the moment rather than expecting the past to repeat itself. You don’t focus all your attention on the trespass – instead you pay attention to your experience with this person in the moment. If this person is not part of your present experience, then they are not part … Continue reading
Early on in my life, I found myself at times inundated with certain dark thoughts that just seemed to appear randomly and out of nowhere. They would show up at different times in my life and interfere with an otherwise pleasant time. They didn’t seem to have any cause. Asking why they existed only generated more unhappiness on my part, so I decided to pay more attention to when they arose. Knowing that the problem is next to the wound, that the solution is within the question, I noticed how, if it weren’t for these random dark thoughts, I would … Continue reading